Many Nigerian parents love their children deeply, there is no doubt about that, they work hard, sacrifice a lot, and want the best for their family
But sometimes, even with good intentions, certain things parents do or say can hurt their children in ways they may not even notice
Most times, it is not because they are wicked, it is because they grew up in a different generation where emotions were not discussed, and parenting was more about survival than understanding
Here are some things Nigerian parents often do without realising how much it affects their children
Constant Comparison
Comparing a child to siblings, cousins, neighbours, or classmates may seem like motivation, but it often creates insecurity
Hearing things like “Why can’t you be like your brother” or “See your mate doing better” makes children feel like they are never enough
Instead of inspiring them, it can slowly destroy their confidence
Dismissing Their Feelings
Many Nigerian children grow up hearing phrases like “Stop crying” or “You’re too sensitive”
When a child’s emotions are constantly dismissed, they learn to hide how they feel, and that can follow them into adulthood
Children need to feel safe expressing sadness, fear, or frustration without being mocked
Turning Love Into Pressure
Some parents believe love must come with high expectations, so everything becomes about results
Good grades, success, being the best, making the family proud
While discipline is important, constant pressure can make children feel like they are only valued for what they achieve, not for who they are
Not Apologising When Wrong
In many Nigerian homes, parents feel apologising will reduce their authority
But when children never hear “I’m sorry” from a parent, they grow up feeling unheard, and they may struggle to admit mistakes in their own relationships
Apologising does not make a parent weak, it teaches humility
Using Harsh Words During Anger
Sometimes in anger, parents say things they later forget, but children remember
Words like “You are useless” or “You will never make it” can stay in a child’s heart for years
Discipline should correct, not destroy
Making Children Afraid Instead of Understood
Some Nigerian children do not feel close to their parents, not because they don’t love them, but because they fear them
When a child cannot talk freely at home, they may seek comfort outside, and sometimes in the wrong places
Children need guidance, not constant intimidation
Ignoring Mental Health
Many parents still see stress, anxiety, or depression as weakness or laziness
But mental health is real, and children also struggle emotionally, especially in today’s world
Sometimes what a child needs is not shouting, but support, conversation, and understanding
Controlling Every Choice
Parents want to protect their children, but over control can hurt
When children are not allowed to express themselves, make choices, or discover their own path, they may grow up feeling trapped or confused
Guidance is good, but children also need room to grow
What can be done?
Most Nigerian parents are doing their best with what they know, but love alone is not always enough, children also need understanding, kindness, listening, and emotional safety
Parenting is not only about raising successful children, it is also about raising healthy, confident, emotionally secure human beings
Small changes in communication and empathy can make a big difference in a child’s life
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